


Size Matters Not

by heyjupiter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Multi, Sex Toys, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:32:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"You made a Hulk dildo?"</em><br/><em>"It's good, right?"</em><br/><em>"It's, uh… it's something," Bruce said.</em> </p><p>All Tony wanted for his birthday was a threesome. With the Hulk. He was pretty sure Bruce would veto that, though, so he put together some toys to use for the next best thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Size Matters Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Penknife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penknife/gifts).



One morning over coffee, Pepper leaned forward and said in a confidential tone, "Look, I know Tony's birthday is coming up, but you shouldn't let him try to talk you into anything you're not comfortable with. Sexually speaking."

Bruce barely swallowed his coffee, laughed, and said, "Oh, when's his birthday? I should get him a card, I guess."'

Pepper smiled. "I'm sure Tony would love a card from you. But I'm serious."

"What kind of thing are you talking about? Like a threesome?" Bruce asked.

"As I recall, it wasn't too hard to get you to agree to that," Pepper said.

"Well. No," Bruce agreed. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, was that--were you--"

Pepper waved her hand dismissively. "No, no. If anything it was more my idea than Tony's."

"Oh. Well, has Tony ever--"

"No, Bruce, this is not a Lifetime movie. Tony's never asked me to do anything… well, anything there wasn't a very high likelihood I'd enjoy. But I just wanted you to know. Because… you haven't known Tony as long as I have."

"And because you don't demolish entire city blocks when you feel threatened?"

"Well. Yes, there is that little detail," Pepper said, but her smile was warm. She put her mug in the dishwasher and said, "I'm just saying, I know how Tony can be. Don't let him push you around." She paused and added, "Not any more than you want to be pushed around."

Bruce felt his face grow warm. Pepper, delighted, said, "We love how you blush, you know."

Bruce ran a hand through his hair, looked down, and said, "Yeah, thanks. I've, uh, heard that."

"Just so you know," Pepper said. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Have a good day. And remember what I said about Tony."

"Sure. Thanks. You too. Have a good day too, I mean."

Bruce topped off his coffee, filled a Thermos with more, and headed down to the lab. He enjoyed his quiet, pre-Tony time, and decided to use it to catch up on some scientific journals. He was reading last month's _Journal of Experimental Medicine_ when Tony came up behind him, kissed the side of Bruce's throat, and breathily said, "That study lacks a sufficient control group."

Bruce used to be impressed when Tony did stuff like that, but he'd been at Stark Tower for long enough to know that Tony had either read the journal already or was just making a good general guess. Or possibly had gotten JARVIS to spy for him?

At any rate, Bruce was slightly less starstruck by Tony Stark than he'd once been. Which didn't mean he cared about him any less. In fact, Bruce generally felt proud to be able to see behind the veneer of Tony's public persona. He felt trusted.

Aloud, Bruce said, "Couldn't agree more. How hard could it be to find lupus patients who don't want to change their treatment?"

"Exactly," Tony said. He'd stopped reading over Bruce's shoulder and was sucking coffee out of his Thermos. "So, is that what you're working on now? Lupus?"

"Nah. Just staying current on the field."

"We're _ahead_ of the field."

"Not on lupus, actually."

"Only because we have done zero research on lupus. We could easily become lupus experts. If we wanted to."

"Maybe one day," Bruce said.

"Hmm," Tony said, sizing Bruce up critically. "Well, anyway, I'm guessing Pepper already talked to you about the upcoming anniversary of my birth?"

"She did," Bruce allowed.

"I told her not to, but I knew she would anyway. So, it's next week, there's going to be a whole stupid party that's fundraising for my science education charity, which you have to go to, obviously, because it's my birthday, but I figured we'd duck out early with Pepper and, you know, have some fun."

"All right."

"By which I mean, I've been thinking about how fun it would be to have sex with the Hulk."

"Tony! Absolutely not, are you--"

"Insane, no, I'm a genius, remember?"

Bruce crossed his arms. He'd gotten used to Tony joking about the Other Guy, but this was ridiculous. "Tony, you know that's impossible."

"No, I don't know. You've been doing so much better about controlling him, and…" Tony bit his lip. "And it would be so fucking hot."

"I don't… no way. That's way too vulnerable of a position for you to put yourself in--and Pepper?"

"Come on, Bruce, the Hulk loves us. He always comes out to look after us."

"I don't think the Other Guy even…"

"He definitely has a cock, Bruce. It's pretty noticeable in those stretch pants."

"I wasn't going to say that. I don't think the Other Guy is… capable of giving sexual consent? And anyway, this is completely insane, and dangerous, and I… I can't believe you'd even ask me this, honestly."

"Yeah, okay, see, I understand where you're coming from. Completely." Bruce stared at Tony and waited for a "but." Tony continued, "But I have some ideas, if you'll just hear me out."

Bruce made a hand gesture that was kind of a "go on" but also kind of a physical expression of his current exasperation.

Tony opened one of the lab's big supply cabinets and came back with a large cardboard box, which he handed to Bruce. Bruce raised his eyebrows at Tony and said, "I'm honestly scared to open this."

"Just take a peek."

Bruce sighed and opened the box. He supposed it wasn't _that_ surprising to find a pair of big, realistic Hulk gloves, and… "You made a Hulk dildo?"

"It's good, right?"

"It's, uh… it's something," Bruce said.

"I actually made two," Tony said, nodding at the box. Bruce looked again, and sure enough, there were two. The second one was still green and very large, but at least it didn't look like it was likely to cause internal bleeding.

"Huh."

"So… " Tony said, expectantly.

"So you just want, what, me to fuck you with this dildo and pretend like I'm the Hulk?"

Tony rocked his head side-to-side and said, "More or less."

"More or less?"

"Well, Pepper would be there too."

"Of course."

"And, we kind of had a scene in mind."

"Go on."

"Well, Pepper and I both thought that--if you were into it--it would be extremely sexy to roleplay that me and Pep both got kidnapped by some nefarious villain, Loki or the Mandarin or whoever, the details don't matter, and we're both just helplessly waiting to be rescued, and so of course the Hulk comes to save us, and, well, he's just overcome by… arousal."

Bruce tried to keep a neutral expression as he said, "And that's… that's sexy to you?"

"Yeah, I thought I was pretty clear about that."

"You know you're describing pretty much my worst nightmare, right?"

"But this is just playing."

Bruce bit his lip. "I guess I don't really understand the appeal."

"Well, come on, Bruce, you know… just that… the idea of being helplessly ravaged by a big dumb brute, kinda does something for me," Tony said, shrugging.

Bruce marveled at how open Tony was about it, how unembarrassed he seemed. Since Bruce had stumbled into a relationship with Pepper and Tony, he'd definitely tried some new things, and he had to admit he'd enjoyed them. And Tony was right, he was very good about staying in control. And it would be Tony's birthday.

"And Pepper feels the same way?" Bruce asked.

"Yes, 100%. She just… she wanted me to be very careful about how I talked to you about it, because she thought you'd be uncomfortable. And for some reason she did not trust my conversational graces."

Bruce snorted and said, "I'll think about it."

Tony's face lit up like Stark Tower. "Yes! That's all I'm asking. Just think about it. And, you know, we'll all have the safeword."

"Right."

"Anyway, what were we working on? Besides lupus?"

"Not lupus," Bruce said.

***

Bruce hated Tony's birthday party. It was loud, and crowded, and full of people Bruce didn't know. And, of course, he was feeling a bit anxious about what was to come next. He spent most of it out on the balcony, making small talk with Phil Coulson, who looked about as uncomfortable as Bruce felt. Finally, though, Pepper came over to greet Coulson and then gracefully excused herself, making it seem like an afterthought when she asked Bruce if he'd mind coming with her. Of course, he didn't.

Bruce followed her, and once they were in the private elevator, she squeezed his hand. "Aren't people gonna notice that you and Tony aren't there?"

"Absolutely not. Well, some people might notice Tony's gone, but people are used to it. And the party's being run by fundraising employees from SSE. They're more than capable of running an event like this," Pepper said. "Now. You're sure you're okay with this?"

Bruce said, "I… yeah, we can try it. And if it doesn't work out, then…"

"Then just say the word, Bruce, literally," Pepper said, looking at him with concern.

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

The elevator stopped and let them off on the 52nd floor, which was where Tony had what Bruce could truly only call a sex dungeon. Bruce was new to this kind of thing, but he was pretty sure Tony must have invented a bunch of the stuff in here. He hadn't inquired about all of it yet.

Bruce and Pepper got retina scanned at the door, and it swung open to let them in. The first time Bruce had been in here, JARVIS had welcomed him in, but Bruce had confessed that that detail made him feel fairly uncomfortable. JARVIS was still in charge of the building's security, but at least on this floor, he was quiet about it now.

Tony was already in there, experimenting with a length of rope.

"Happy birthday," Pepper said. "Look what I brought you."

Bruce shrugged. "Uh, happy birthday," he said.

Tony beamed. "Thanks, guys. Now. Bruce, your stuff is in that box on that bench. Why don't you go out into the hall while we get ready, and we'll have--the door will open, when we're ready."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Bruce said. His face felt hot.

Tony was still beaming when he said, "I love it when you blush."

Bruce awkwardly picked up his box of props and went out into the hallway to examine them. There was a pair of purple shorts that Bruce assumed he was supposed to put on, so he stripped out of his suit, then carefully folded the pieces and set them on the floor. He pulled on the shorts and tugged at them self-consciously. They weren't the specially constructed "Hulk shorts" he wore out into the field. They were just purple silk boxers. Very tight purple silk boxers. Bruce finally forced himself to stop adjusting the shorts and looked back in the box. The big Hulk gloves were there, and the dildos. There was a third one there, too, slightly smaller, and with a vibrator. Pepper must have had input into this, then. There was no lube in the box, but Bruce knew there was a plentiful variety inside. Was he supposed to carry all this back in the box? That's weird. Why would Hulk carry a cardboard box on a rescue mission? Bruce realized simultaneously that 1) he was having the wrong concerns here and 2) Tony had actually put some kind of black canvas satchel at the bottom of the box. Bruce put the toys in it and left the box in the hallway. He felt at least marginally less ridiculous now. Then he remembered the gloves, and put them on. They were ingeniously engineered, which was no real surprise. Bruce could move his fingers independently and whatever they were made of, he could feel through them, but they made his fingers huge. He put the bag over his shoulder and fidgeted with his shorts again, now made more awkward with the gloves, when the door slid open.

Bruce took a deep breath and walked inside. He heard Pepper calling, "Help! Someone help!"

Bruce froze. Was he supposed to talk like Hulk? Probably? He just couldn't bring himself to do it, though, so he stayed quiet. The Other Guy was a being of few words anyway. He crossed the room and found his lovers. Pepper wore some sexy red lingerie and was bound to a padded bench. She struggled prettily and said, "Oh, thank God, the Hulk is here!"

Bruce looked around and spotted Tony nearby. He was gagged and bound to a St. Andrew's Cross, watching with bright eyes. He was angled to be able to watch them perfectly. Bruce caught his breath and then knelt next to Pepper. He ran a big, green hand over the rope binding her wrists. Her breath quickened, and she said, "Thank God you're here!" She squirmed and Bruce leaned in to kiss her.

"Mmm," Pepper said. Bruce reached out and squeezed her breasts, tweaking her nipples with the Hulk gloves. Pepper moaned and said, "Hulk, no, not here!"

Bruce bit his lip and reminded himself of what Tony and Pepper had drilled into his head; that in here, no didn't mean "no," only the safeword meant no.

So he squeezed her nipples harder with one hand, and slipped the other under her panties. "Oh!" Pepper cried. Through the gloves, he could feel how wet she was, how ready for this. He pulled her panties down, and Pepper lifted her hips to help him. Bruce moved and knelt between her legs, lapping eagerly at her pussy. Pepper's breath caught, and she pushed against him as best she could. Bruce took his time teasing her, then reached for the bag of toys and put the tip of smallest of the Hulk dildos into her.

"Oh God," Pepper cried. "More, please, more." Bruce obeyed, working it in and out of her with increasing speed. Then, when he sensed she was getting close to the edge, he turned on the vibrator. "Yes, yes, yes," Pepper said, and then she shuddered out an enthusiastic orgasm. She lay on the bench, still panting, and Bruce turned off the vibrator and stood up. Tony was watching them intently, and Bruce could see how hard his cock was. Was he supposed to leave Pepper, or what? He looked at her face for clues, but her eyes were closed in a post-orgasmic haze. He decided to untie her wrists, anyway, and she could decide what to do about her ankles herself. It turned out that, however well-engineered the Hulk gloves were, though, they were not really designed for knot untying.

Pepper twisted her head to watch. She laughed and said, "Oh, thank you, Hulk, you're my hero… oh… um… almost there?" Finally, he got one wrist free, and she helped him with the other. She sat up and kissed him, and then said, "Oh, Hulk, you should go help Tony now!"

He nodded and walked a few steps over to where Tony stood. He traced his big gloved hands over the straps binding Tony's wrist, over the gag. Bruce considered, then decided to untie the gag. He figured the point was probably for Tony not to have been able to talk while Bruce was with Pepper, but now Bruce wanted to hear Tony. Wanted to hear whatever sounds he might make.

"Hey, thanks, big guy," Tony said. "Always good to see you."

Bruce ran his hands over Tony's body, letting him feel the gloves he'd designed, playing with his nipples. Tony's breath caught, and Bruce got in closer, sucking at Tony's throat.

"Hey, you gonna untie me?" Tony asked breezily. Bruce growled low in his throat and nipped at Tony's collarbone. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough for Tony to yelp.

Bruce bends down and picks up the bottle of lube that had been conveniently placed at the base of Tony's cross. He fumbled with the cap and poured a little bit into his big green palm. Then he reached in Tony's boxers and fisted his cock.

"Oh, God," Tony groaned. "Hey, Big Guy, I never knew you felt this way."

Bruce teased Tony's cock with the glove, unsure what to do. He wanted Tony to have a good time, but it was still hard for Bruce to understand what Tony wanted. Then Tony said, "Mm, hey, how about if you untie me and I suck your cock?"

Bruce considered, then he nodded and released Tony from the cross. Thankfully the straps were Velcro, so he didn't have much trouble freeing Tony. Tony stretched his arms and wriggled a bit, enjoying his new freedom of movement. Bruce kissed him again, and Tony wrapped his fingers in his hair. Then Bruce broke the kiss and tugged Tony a few steps forward, away from the base of the cross, and guided him down to his knees.

Tony's breath caught, and Bruce pulled the largest Hulk dildo out of his back. Tony's eyes widened. "Oh, God, it's so big," he moaned. Bruce pushed it toward Tony's mouth, and he opened wide to accept it. Pepper was sitting on the bench, watching with wide eyes and a hand between her legs.

She said, "Hulk, don't you want to fuck Tony?"

Tony made a sound that seemed favorable, and Bruce nodded. He took the dildo out of Tony's mouth and set it aside, then positioned Tony onto his knees and forearms. He found the lube again and applied it liberally to Tony, and to his glove. Bruce looked doubtful. Even one Hulk finger seemed too big to start with. But then, Tony had designed it, and he knew his limits. And they had their safeword. So Bruce probed Tony's ass with just the tip of his Hulk pinkie, and Tony moaned. Bruce kept teasing with the finger, and Tony said, "God, yes, more, dammit," and Pepper sucked in a deep breath. Bruce kept going, warming Tony up, while Tony kept up a constant stream of chatter. One Bruce felt Tony was sufficiently warmed up, he reached for the middle-sized Hulk dildo, the one that had clearly been designed for this purpose. He lubed it up and teased Tony's anus with it. Tony shivered and pushed against it.

"Yes, God, please," Tony said.

"Ooh," Pepper said. "He said please. Very polite, don't you think, Hulk?"

Bruce nodded. He slowly pushed the dildo into Tony, who gasped and moaned and swore. Bruce slowly thrust it in and out, working Tony into a lather. Then he awkwardly switched hands, so he could keep working the dildo with his left hand and fist Tony's cock with his right hand.

"Oh, Jesus, yes, please, I'm so close," Tony said. "Uhh…" Bruce sped up to match Tony's pace, and he came in several bursts over Bruce's glove, over the hardwood floor. Bruce carefully removed the dildo and stood up. Tony sat back on his knees, gasping.

Behind them, Pepper said, "Wow."

Bruce tugged off the Hulk gloves and said, "Happy birthday, Tony."

"Hey, it's not over yet," Tony said, looking pointedly at Bruce's purple silk-covered crotch.

"Oh," Bruce said, and Tony gave him an inviting grin.

"C'mon, Bruce," Tony said. He led Bruce over to the huge bed over in the opposite corner of the room and began to give him a blowjob. Bruce bit his lip.

"Oh," he moaned. Tony knew what he was doing, and Bruce came quickly. It was what he needed--after all that, he didn't want to risk the stress of being sexually frustrated, and he appreciated Tony's awareness of that. Pepper joined them in bed, and they fell into a satisfied pile under the (what else) silk sheets.

"God," Tony said, "That was so hot."

"Mmm-hmm," Pepper said.

"Uh… happy to help," Bruce said.

Tony traced his fingers through Bruce's hair and said, "So, Bruce… what do you want for _your_ birthday?"


End file.
